I dunno, I just think I’ve had it. I’ve realized how disgusting of a habit it really is. Yesterday I accidentally spilled ash water all over myself and all I could smell the rest of the night was cigarettes, it bothered the fuck out of me and grossed me out. I’m sick of how much money I’m spending every week, I’m sick of how reliant I am on them. I’m sick of my car being a mess partly because I have old packs sprawled all over my car. I hate how I have to have one if I’m driving ANYWHERE, I hate how I look forward to having my morning cigarette the night before every night. I’m sick of my car and my clothes and my purse reeking like cigarettes. It’s fucking gross. I’ve smoked on and off for 3 years, but I’ve never been this reliant. I’m not even that bad of a smoker, but have more and more everyday as the days go on and I’m afraid that it’s a terrible habit that I will continue to carry on as I get older and it will eventually get to the point where I can’t quit. I hate that if I have too many in a day, I feel like shit the rest of the day. It’s unattractive, expensive, and gross. Bought a pack earlier tonight, and hopefully it is my last. I’ve quit before, I can do it again. I just need the motivation.